Carlsen thambi...

"For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to anything other than Carlsen is purely intentional. Don't mistake me when I make mistakes. Jai Hind"

p.s. Carlsen is a Tamil name in this story. ;)

--- Age 12 to 13 ---
Grandma calling... "Peraandi, cycle test mudinjudhaa?" (cycle tests over?)
"Paati, naan Aeroflot poitu vandhen. Title theriyumaa?!"
"Dei, olaraadha, ippo dhaan 7th standard padikra nee! Annual exam mukiyama cheks mukiyamaa?"
"adhu cheks illa chess"
"paati ya ethirthu pesariyaa? ellam unga amma va sollanum. adichu valakkala!"

Paati calls daughter "Nee pora vazhiye sari illa dee..."

Carlsen flunks the model exam. Class teacher puts him in coaching class and 'advices' him to attend school.
Carlsen's parents complain he won't be able to attend, as he has to attend a few invitational events. When Carlsen comes to school the following day, the Principal arrives in his class... "Ask your parents to meet me!" His fellow classmates are shell-shocked as these words are easily the most feared, in school parlance. Carlsen coolly goes home and tells the matter to his parents. Carlsen's dad meets the school Principal, the next day.
"Enna Sir, unga payan 'activities' seri illayae..."
"Enna aachu sir"
"Ozhunga school varala, marks kammi ya iruku. Society la enga schoolku nu oru paer iruku. Next year board exam vera varudu, we won't be able to promote him if this performance continues."
"Avan tournament la 'performance' panna mattum paper la news podreengale"
Principal cleans his glasses and says, "Oh really, I will look into it. This is a special child. We eagerly look forward to encourage and motivate these kind of children. We will help them come out with flying colours. Anyway, ask him to study well too, Sir!"
"Sure. Thank you!"
Carlsen passes tenth with 61%, ten days of preparation
-----
 11th standard. Day 1 of school. Principaaal comes to Carlsen's class.
"I know you won't be attending classes regularly. And I am sure you will pass eleventh. But as the Principal of this school, I have to say a few things to you. It's my duty too.
Next year unaku 12th board exam. Idhu 10th maadhiri illa thambi... Life-u! Board exam nalla ezhuthina dhaan nalla college la seat kidaikum; enga college la seat kedaikardhu avlo easy illa! Only outstanding students get into..."
(Classmates giggling)
"SILENCE PLEASE! ...our college. All the best Carlsen"
That was the last day Carlsen attended 11th.
Common exam of 11th standard was not conducted due to the 'professional' practise of starting 12th standard portions in the middle of 11th grade!
-----
Due to family pressure, Carlsen studies till 12th and finishes board exams. Applies to Anna University under sports quota.
-- Review panel ---
Wijk Ann Zee, Tata Steel, Nordic Challenge, Qualifiers, Blitz Championship, Kasparov Training... What's all this? Are these authorized by government of India?
No
Are these official world championships?
No
Continental?
No
Selected through Tamil Nadu / India ?
No
Where is SGFI? This guy is so irresponsible! He doesn't play State events, national events. How can he afford to miss SGFI Nationals? Even if he is state board, they have a nationals too, right?
Yes sir.

Carlsen's mom tries to persuade: "Sir, Madam, he's GM sir! Super GM"
"GM naa?"
"Grandmaster"
"So?"
"SIRRRR!"
"Inna maa, summa koovada, (eating a Good Day dipped in chai...) padu bejaara pochu unnoda. Inga paaru maa, GM o HM o. Rules iruku la! We are government officials. PLEASE don't waste our time!"

Carlsen scored '0' under sports quota, after completing his GM title.
---
Exam results arrive. Carlsen pass. Anna Univ dumps him.
Where does he go?

His paati still calls him...

"En peraandi oru nalla college la Computer o Doctor ko padichu irundha, oorla perumaya solluven; ippo graamathula thalaya kaata mudiyala, oru paya madhika maatengaraan! Idhu enga poi mudiyumo theriliyae! Ivanukku yaaru ponnu tharuvaa!"

"Avalum ava dressum... eeshwaraaa! Enna usuroda podhachurvaan pola irukke! Idha en oorla paatha oora vittu 16 varusham thalli vechuruvaanga!"


Meendum sandhippom! :)